tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12553568353487792182024-03-18T17:17:05.915+08:00ArelisNing.ARELIS NINGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261810719488277199noreply@blogger.comBlogger154125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1255356835348779218.post-53729814862123432182024-03-18T17:16:00.001+08:002024-03-18T17:16:33.758+08:007 || It feels likeIt feels like something.<div>Some kind of emotion.</div><div>Is about to burst.</div><div>Burst out of my body.</div><div><br></div><div>I just feel like dancing.</div><div>Dance like there is no one else.</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div><br></div>ARELIS NINGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261810719488277199noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1255356835348779218.post-18519989301672427552024-02-15T09:14:00.001+08:002024-02-15T09:14:52.869+08:006 || A needed closureIn that dream, I cried so hard.<div>So hard until those acquaintances look so awkward like they never expect me to cry.</div><div>I guess my main story line will be the same, it is just I chose which path to reach there.</div><div>I still miss Aoteora, in a sad way.</div><div>Which makes me think that maybe, I need to do something about it if I can.</div><div>I am not sure how will the plan of a trip to south island will unfold. </div><div>I just hope that no matter this trip is going to be the closure when the time is right, I am able to smile every time when I'm reminiscing my time there.<br></div><div><br></div><div>The lack of water element in the star map indicates someone without their own style while expressing themselves.</div><div><br></div><div>That solves the puzzle of I am, mostly emotional absent.</div><div>But that's another riddle to find out I guess.</div><div>I will find my way, anyhow.</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div><br></div><div>Hope to see you again, Aoteora.</div><div><br></div>ARELIS NINGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261810719488277199noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1255356835348779218.post-81928868421325264642024-02-13T09:36:00.000+08:002024-02-13T09:37:12.389+08:005 || ScriptingI know what and when I want to do something.<div>I have the ability to do and know what I wanted to do.</div><div>I believe in myself.</div><div>I don't doubt and I never.</div><div>I can do it.</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div><br></div><div>I used to love blue skies just by themselves, but recently I found out that they look better with other colour contrasting the blue, blue sky.</div><div><br></div><div>Like green. 💚</div>ARELIS NINGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261810719488277199noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1255356835348779218.post-84478369126770896092024-02-08T07:37:00.000+08:002024-02-08T07:38:02.337+08:004 || Expressing gratitude.感恩所有的不期而遇,更感恩所有的相遇。<div>感恩所有的相遇,即便只是一个擦身而过。</div><div><br></div><div>今天出门前有着强烈的感觉,好像会遇见一位很想要对方喜欢我的人。</div><div><br></div><div>不管这一天里到底会不会遇到那个人,不管是否因为我的一时大意和对方擦肩而过,</div><div>我都很感恩。</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div><br></div><div>The golden 30 seconds of the day.</div><div>I almost cried inside of me because of feeling touched that how my keeper did when it wants to show me something.</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div><br></div><div>But actually, I already got the hint that morning when I'm on my way to work. It is just, I didn't really see it until I saw the golden 30 seconds.</div><div><br></div><div>Thank you keeper, thank you for everything.</div><div>Thank you for welcoming me to be connected with you through Kinaki.</div><div>Thank you for inviting me and Kinaki into your house and have a close chat together.</div><div><br></div><div>Thank you for always showing me tje right direction and assuring me the path I am walking is right.</div><div><br></div><div>Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. ❤️</div>ARELIS NINGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261810719488277199noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1255356835348779218.post-46708826225236155232024-01-16T23:57:00.001+08:002024-01-16T23:57:20.482+08:002 || 好想哭夜深人静<div>我不知道自己在感受什么</div><div>为什么不能够简单点</div><div>我是不是只要继续留下来</div><div>就会把马来西亚过得像纽西兰那样</div><div>各种错综复杂的关系</div><div>关系崩塌</div><div>误会</div><div>等等的全部</div><div>我想要世界只剩下家人</div><div>那我就可以任性</div><div>我就可以做自己</div><div>毕竟家人就是家人</div><div>没有人会离开</div><div>没有人会被谁抛弃</div><div><br></div><div>我们永远在一起<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div></div>ARELIS NINGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261810719488277199noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1255356835348779218.post-19910606100106478912024-01-09T07:46:00.001+08:002024-01-09T07:46:56.147+08:001 || 2023 Recap<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div><div>一直以来对于这篇给白羊的话感到不解</div><div>今天在把kobo app删掉之前重新读了一遍才发现唐老师真的是预言家。</div><div>本来打算不离开奥克兰却在那天夜里被确定我让室友很恶心之后下定了决心</div><div>后来真的离开了感到如释重负,原来我也可以做得到啊,这种肯定自己的感觉,很好很好。</div><div>再后来是发现自己可以自主地做更多更多事情,便也更加确定接下来自己想要更多这样的事情加入自己的生活里。</div><div><br></div><div>嗯,回顾2023,我很庆幸自己已经成功突破枷锁,接下来就朝着自由、不受捆绑的方式前进,迎接水瓶时代吧 xD</div><div><br></div>ARELIS NINGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261810719488277199noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1255356835348779218.post-59722461203232942252023-12-13T22:40:00.003+08:002023-12-13T22:40:27.319+08:0012 || An end. A beginning.<p>It is tough to express this in words.<br />It feels like something is going to start all over.</p><p>This is very hard to put down in words.<br />It feels like something in my life has finally ended.<br /><br />It takes work to put it all out.<br />It feels like something is about to start.</p><p>This feeling.<br />Is weird.</p><p>It is truly a relief when I can look back at the photos again with a huge smile.<br />Those days were good.<br />And it is truly a huge relief when I know I can share the photos with people around me.<br />It was like hey, you have passed the test and now you can face all these after several months of questioning, doubting and pondering.</p><p>I can face it all now.</p><p>All I wanted to do now</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeQ8MPj_0v-tAlKS5OhwrEpfKoFyXPwa0-vvm1jh9qPvwfwH1WF68_PEQ2BsWc8nVPotfqjohNy8xJidJnni0_p1Mxp_zR94fgE6525grXly41UAWUZ1jNrN32aj93wsKoU78-r3WKtvH6Wp02t0X7c6Btx4RugVc7vL31cADBHjzx4pQyEcaH02S-DdTT/s4608/IMG20191126070707.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3456" data-original-width="4608" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeQ8MPj_0v-tAlKS5OhwrEpfKoFyXPwa0-vvm1jh9qPvwfwH1WF68_PEQ2BsWc8nVPotfqjohNy8xJidJnni0_p1Mxp_zR94fgE6525grXly41UAWUZ1jNrN32aj93wsKoU78-r3WKtvH6Wp02t0X7c6Btx4RugVc7vL31cADBHjzx4pQyEcaH02S-DdTT/s320/IMG20191126070707.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Is to jump up high and shout out</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Hip Hip Hurray!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;">For at least tonight,<br />at least today,<br />I can make it through.<br /><br />Finally, I made it.<br />It starts today.</div><p></p>ARELIS NINGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261810719488277199noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1255356835348779218.post-50447219119568006822023-11-12T10:37:00.002+08:002023-11-18T10:53:10.075+08:0011 || Can't wait to see you.期待相见。<div><br /><div>并不是期待相见的时候有多么地激动和兴奋</div><div>而是期待见到你的时候 我的心已经不再飘荡</div><div>不再幻想我们曾经或许会有的远方</div><div>不再喜欢</div><div>不再想念</div><div><br /></div><div>只有那种淡淡的 嘿 你好吗?</div></div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div></div><div><br /></div><div>感恩 感谢 一直以来发生过的所有事情。</div>ARELIS NINGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261810719488277199noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1255356835348779218.post-57018690585725697452023-10-31T21:27:00.002+08:002023-10-31T21:27:41.066+08:009 || Stop trying<p>It feels like something is stuck in the throat, lungs and stomach.<br />Bloated tummy and gassy stomach.<br />I feel like throwing up.</p><p>There is actually nothing special to put these words down.<br />I just want to time-stamp today.</p><p>When it rains, the suffering lessens.<br />The pressure is gone.<br />I have been carefully holding this bowl full of water all this while.<br />I wanted to care. I care.<br />I wanted to go back to those old days.<br />When we laugh, when I hold his arm, when I feel safe, with him.</p><p>When my hands are finally tired, when I feel like I should reclaim my life.<br />"This is the time to let go, you have done enough," the rain says.<br />I let go of the bowl that I have been holding, for months, filled with water.</p><p>That is when I see, I am no longer who I think I am.<br />That is when I knew, I was no longer with him.</p><p>I know, he came into my life carrying a legacy from one of our past life.<br />I know things would be way more different if we did not choose that path, that storyline outside of our script, that we should be playing.<br />We might still be very good friends, better than how it might be.<br /><br />But now, things have changed.<br />And that storyline that we thought we were going to carry out, is not going to happen.<br />If you think you have already done and completed the legacy that was given by the doctor, it is good that things were completed.<br />If the legacy was not yet completed, let us meet again in another life.</p><p>For now, I am going to leave the bowl here, now, today.<br /><br />After this second, there will be no more holding of the bowl carefully.<br />For I think what I can do for now, is enough.<br />For I think what I can give for now, is enough.</p><p>For I think what I love and how I loved, is more than enough.<br />Goodbye oppa, take care and till we meet again.<br />Thank you for everything, every single thing that you brought into my life.<br />For they became part of my memory.<br />For they became my emotional healing tool.<br />For they became something that no longer serves me.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgcLj7t3acZbD_okQTSKVP-VqTUkkaOc-PaWqTQdZCUYnlyQ6OJiXmkTJQE9YEKEqeZBqW_FLKeRta0zxh2QUr3oRMuU8QhzFLfB9XDGMheiSia9BY8WsuivXl4AunWrOEaYvT7MrYhbQ1J-OJfC8tzUo3mdrwBjkVXFTqoyju_ztTykU6PbvVsTSmPKJTa" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="3000" data-original-width="4000" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgcLj7t3acZbD_okQTSKVP-VqTUkkaOc-PaWqTQdZCUYnlyQ6OJiXmkTJQE9YEKEqeZBqW_FLKeRta0zxh2QUr3oRMuU8QhzFLfB9XDGMheiSia9BY8WsuivXl4AunWrOEaYvT7MrYhbQ1J-OJfC8tzUo3mdrwBjkVXFTqoyju_ztTykU6PbvVsTSmPKJTa=w200-h150" width="200" /></a></div><p></p>ARELIS NINGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261810719488277199noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1255356835348779218.post-16065903964239780202023-10-29T15:24:00.002+08:002023-10-29T15:24:25.360+08:008 || Simple simply loveI do not know what to write.<div>But I just knew that I wanted to write.<br />I needed to write.</div><div><br /></div><div>What do I want to say?</div><div>What do I want to tell?</div><div>Who did I want to talk to?</div><div>What I would like to talk about?</div><div><br /></div><div>I don't know.</div><div><br /></div><div>I just want to simply write something.<br />Or maybe I do have something to say, but I just could not find it yet.</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9mZV0_Y1gXlhhtXZfce6FRKCQ9NRhPgyz0WGa5iilZptfZlmjHWigMSGBTOCD6ILCgri0HeXmjg0V8STjH2oPuZKMVLoEQfF-rrhe0KccyqY54YIKtjkSngULCdxpGLJyvWe06tFVPhEjOPrEiy_hq7a0rOa-jR1vBN3w1eY5IBN8jvbMfXSG-LkHRyV7/s4608/IMG20230623153540.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4608" data-original-width="3456" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9mZV0_Y1gXlhhtXZfce6FRKCQ9NRhPgyz0WGa5iilZptfZlmjHWigMSGBTOCD6ILCgri0HeXmjg0V8STjH2oPuZKMVLoEQfF-rrhe0KccyqY54YIKtjkSngULCdxpGLJyvWe06tFVPhEjOPrEiy_hq7a0rOa-jR1vBN3w1eY5IBN8jvbMfXSG-LkHRyV7/s320/IMG20230623153540.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div>ARELIS NINGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261810719488277199noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1255356835348779218.post-54522268374863829242023-10-22T22:40:00.004+08:002023-10-22T22:40:16.848+08:007 || You are who I love<p>I came over to this <a href="https://poets.org/poem/you-are-who-i-love" target="_blank">poem</a> while listening to The Slow Down show on Spotify.<br />Back in 2021.</p><p>It was like being reminded of a person who loved me, dearly.<br />You are who I love, you are who.</p><p>It was a poem by Aracelis Grimay.<br />When I first listened to it, I cried.<br />For fifteen minutes.<br />Lying flat, on the ground, on my yoga mat.</p><p>When I noticed the name of the poet, I was stunned.<br />Aracelis. Arelis.<br />It brings me back to that year when Barbie and the 12 Princesses were launched when I devised a story with 12 sisters.<br /></p><p>Arelis<br />Begine<br />Catnip<br />D...<br />E...<br />F...<br />G...<br />H...<br />I...<br />J...<br />K...<br />L...<br /></p><p>I could not recall the rest, but I clearly knew that I needed to think of the name of the first daughter carefully for I have a preference for having an English name starting with an 'A'.</p><p>Before I knew that there was a name called 'Aracelis', I was playing with the Aries and Ariel, as one is my horoscope while the other one has beautiful red hair.</p><p>I love the red colour.<br />Why not 'Arelis'? This name just came out of nowhere.</p><p>And after so many months, after the poem was deleted from the podcast so they could upload more new poems daily when I found out that the name of the poet is Aracelis, everything worked out.</p><p>I wanted to meet her one day, I told myself.<br />I just have the feeling and I don't know why.<br />But I know I will meet her, one day.</p><p>It feels like a key to a door was found, but I don't know which door yet.<br /></p><p>Eventually, we will find out why.</p><p>:)</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhFJrJP29_FrhlfG_27VLL0uccQc0c5PB9elaFLFnCWdtYnquTFsGW8qjqPGhGAO6YHdLtQTCsZwWfhOxjPm3KbpMOziTqv-HQ4K2Iff4aK6bi8MbPINrgwsmK170AQpR_eHFqZWwPUo4cKeseDfDWjiIJgqsTYIq2tV_8lpRlYVQeJdVmitRiCmYwA8XOa" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4000" data-original-width="3000" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhFJrJP29_FrhlfG_27VLL0uccQc0c5PB9elaFLFnCWdtYnquTFsGW8qjqPGhGAO6YHdLtQTCsZwWfhOxjPm3KbpMOziTqv-HQ4K2Iff4aK6bi8MbPINrgwsmK170AQpR_eHFqZWwPUo4cKeseDfDWjiIJgqsTYIq2tV_8lpRlYVQeJdVmitRiCmYwA8XOa=w300-h400" width="300" /></a></div><br />The silhouette will show when the sun rises.<p></p>ARELIS NINGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261810719488277199noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1255356835348779218.post-4038881581600954602023-10-18T17:00:00.000+08:002023-10-18T17:00:00.144+08:006 || TearsI cried.<div>I cried so so hard.</div><div>Quietly.</div><div><br></div><div>Tears just swelled up in my eyes.</div><div>My face crumpled together.</div><div>One drop.</div><div>Two drops.</div><div>Three drops.</div><div>Then there are, streams of tears.</div><div><br></div><div>It fells down from my chin.</div><div>Onto my chest.</div><div><br></div><div>I am crying, after so long.</div><div>I am literally crying.</div><div>I do not know why.</div><div><br></div><div>I started sobbing.</div><div>Very very hard.</div><div>I keep on asking why, what is going on in my mind.</div><div>Very very loud.</div><div><br></div><div>I don't know.</div><div><br></div><div>I just want to cry.</div><div><br></div><div>Cry out loud.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div></div>ARELIS NINGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261810719488277199noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1255356835348779218.post-37042251257603278712023-10-12T23:41:00.009+08:002023-10-18T08:01:09.738+08:005 || Past LivesFate.<div>To have an eight thousand past lives together to be one married couple.</div><div><br></div><div>Na Young, if this was one of our past lives, in our next life we might have gotten married.</div><div>What do you think we will be?</div><div>I am not sure.</div><div>Me too, either.</div><div><br></div><div>The hugs</div><div>The holdbacks</div><div>The dialogue we had</div><div><br></div><div>At times it seems lost.</div><div>Like we are Na Young and Hae Sung.</div><div><br></div><div>They are saying those words, those sentences, those feelings.</div><div>That I have said before, or imagined I have said those before.</div><div><br></div><div>I still remember you once asked what kind of house I would like to live in.</div><div>White walls, wooden flooring.</div><div>Light flooring but dark furniture.</div><div>Cotton-made sofa covers, wooden handles, but dark.</div><div>Lots of natural light coming through.</div><div>Yeah, I am thinking the same too, you said.</div><div><br></div><div>I asked you why you chose to travel with me.</div><div>I don't know, you said.</div><div>Then what about you, you asked.</div><div>I don't know either, but I know I must find this out.</div><div>We both have the same answer.</div><div><br></div><div>I asked the keeper about our fate.</div><div>The keeper shows a vision of I am a nurse and you are a doctor.</div><div>Yes, one of our past lives.</div><div>I am sure that there is more to say, about us.</div><div>Other than very good partners to each other at work.</div><div>You are married, I am not.</div><div>You wanted to take care of me but you can't.</div><div>So you came into my world.</div><div>Said that I am your unclosed chapter.</div><div>You walked into my heart.</div><div><br></div><div>The longer you stay, the clearer you see.</div><div>You are more and more focused on what you give each day.</div><div>We grew from friends with lots of jokes to serious chats each time.</div><div>I find it really hard to bid those old days goodbye.</div><div>Thinking that I should and I would have done better if I had known it earlier.</div><div><br></div><div>But now, looking back.</div><div>I see that we were just meant to be like this.</div><div>We are meant to be.</div><div>It is meant to be for leaving some good old days (and some regrets) behind.</div><div>It is meant to be for us to walk this pathway, together.</div><div>It is meant to be for us to keep in touch, not often, for you to hear me out.</div><div>They are all meant to be.</div><div><br></div><div>Thank you.</div><div>I really wanted to say.</div><div>Thank you for making this wish by appreciating what I have been, in one of our past lives.</div><div>Thank you for really making all these come true, with the wish you made in one of our past lives.</div><div>Thank you for coming into my world.</div><div>Thank you, really.</div><div><br></div><div>I think I am able to let go of the thought of reminiscing and regretting our good old days laughing together, trying to avoid you, making the choice, saying goodbye, calling you again, having lots of assumptions where you might never have, involving you into something that you would not like to be involved in.</div><div><br></div><div>Thank you for coming into one of my past lives and becoming a VIP in my life.</div><div>Thank you and I always will.</div><div>See you again. Na young ah.</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgbW-sHwZfSDvot5t5CrAJmQhqTuyX4KsfpoSJU8DCzMpHz4OnzL6Rn0MYlTS1wEoy2xYSGh01qe9Vw79dXTsrESFpO07EXIGYVkOQywq_aOcystH5J6bA3T9qGFfu6bKShUifeBuwOeDYkwHj9QeMgM0rnfulQUaXaQf3dZfJPO26YV21VyPNTobmDel87" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="3000" data-original-width="4000" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgbW-sHwZfSDvot5t5CrAJmQhqTuyX4KsfpoSJU8DCzMpHz4OnzL6Rn0MYlTS1wEoy2xYSGh01qe9Vw79dXTsrESFpO07EXIGYVkOQywq_aOcystH5J6bA3T9qGFfu6bKShUifeBuwOeDYkwHj9QeMgM0rnfulQUaXaQf3dZfJPO26YV21VyPNTobmDel87=w320-h240" width="320"></a></div><br><br></div>ARELIS NINGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261810719488277199noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1255356835348779218.post-32762105901507527332023-09-26T06:49:00.003+08:002023-09-26T06:49:59.573+08:004 || Time<p>It is all about time.<br />I knew it from the start.<br />It will not be a smooth sail.<br />But since it is not a smooth sail,<br />that is what we call life.</p><p>This is not the first time I feel restless,<br />to miss out on something when it is out of my control;<br />or within, my control.<br />Strangely, it feels all the same.<br />The feeling of regret and helplessness.</p><p>I need to be stronger.<br />I need to be more capable.<br />That is what I told myself.<br />Prep up yourself girl, plant more seeds.<br />But remember, don't rush, take your time.</p><p>I don't know what I wanted?<br />No, I clearly knew what I wanted.<br />Freedom is my call.<br />But I have to be patient to reach where I want to go, one day.</p><p>Try, but don't push yourself too hard on this.<br />Take your time.<br />Yes, you have plenty of them, always.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0h9H-xJGXtdW8kbICkcqIEcPqp79qllUIS1IQUda1dUs4Cjc3K0FF-a5DaW7BUZzvQtPqpCOihIrjaQFRYDQC-dYsgxXaKB2zbFvLKz8aueF2I8Of8LjKZAJ62E8J_ZHYsgUt6PI4CEM54HWXHsiA2zOQswZrSXBI0k7q0XgIUloNYw7yG97p-n0EFn2G/s4000/IMG20230731154955.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3000" data-original-width="4000" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0h9H-xJGXtdW8kbICkcqIEcPqp79qllUIS1IQUda1dUs4Cjc3K0FF-a5DaW7BUZzvQtPqpCOihIrjaQFRYDQC-dYsgxXaKB2zbFvLKz8aueF2I8Of8LjKZAJ62E8J_ZHYsgUt6PI4CEM54HWXHsiA2zOQswZrSXBI0k7q0XgIUloNYw7yG97p-n0EFn2G/s320/IMG20230731154955.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p>ARELIS NINGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261810719488277199noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1255356835348779218.post-53876733256199152132023-09-22T22:52:00.001+08:002023-09-22T22:52:12.042+08:003 || Mal à la têteI came back, bringing lots and lots of positive energy.<div>Getting the feedback of my thoughts are too naive.</div><div>Energy depleted within one month.</div><div>No more vitality</div><div>I don't feel like looking forward to anything, like literally anything</div><div>Being requested to see a clinical psychologist was the first step</div><div>And then was informed need to eat something from eighth goddess 3 nights in a row</div><div><br></div><div>I know, I don't want to.</div><div>I clearly know.</div><div><br></div><div>But I don't know how to say or express it.</div><div>I am afraid that I will gone insane.</div><div>For not having the ability to do something for myself.</div><div><br></div><div>I thought I started to heal myself I'm New Zealand.</div><div>And I am able to continue my healing even when I'm back to Malaysia.</div><div>Instead I hurt myself more after I came home.</div><div><br></div><div>I shall donate or sell whatever I possessed in this world when I am still alive or when I am still sane.</div><div><br></div><div>And Loi Shan Wen is going to take care all of this.</div><div><br></div><div>He is also, my family.</div><div><br></div><div>Like all of you, who are reading.</div><div>And who still care.</div><div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div></div>ARELIS NINGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261810719488277199noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1255356835348779218.post-7741796954043893432023-09-22T15:31:00.001+08:002023-09-22T15:31:26.692+08:002 || I wanted a space.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div><br><div>I wanted a space.<div>A quiet space.</div><div>With the blue sky as backdrop.</div><div>Only for myself.</div><div><br></div><div>It is quiet.</div><div>Safe and sound.</div><div>The floor is wooden flooring.</div><div>But smooth.</div><div><br></div><div>I will wear my thick black working socks.</div><div>That I brought from Daiso.</div><div>I will play whatever songs I feel like at that moment.</div><div>And record the dancing silhouette.</div><div><br></div><div>It is alright even if the dancing is not nice.</div><div>It is alright even if the movement is a bit stiff.</div><div>I am who I am.</div><div>I am the one and original me.</div><div><br></div><div>Listen, laugh when you wanna cry.</div><div>You know clearly that a worry will solve another one.</div><div>You will forget the old worried when a new one came by.</div><div>Maybe that is the way you want to live.</div></div>ARELIS NINGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261810719488277199noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1255356835348779218.post-88511140452221868842023-08-28T23:36:00.002+08:002023-08-29T07:21:36.151+08:001 || Clear Something is unclear.<div>It stucks somewhere between my throat and my chest.</div><div>I can't breathe.</div><div>I cannot think clearly.</div><div>I am not me.</div><div><br /></div><div>But why? </div><div>I am at the place that I am most familiar with.</div><div>Dans le monde entier.</div><div><br /></div><div>I asked. I nagged. I annoyed.</div><div><br /></div><div>You have the ability to see things clearly by yourself you see.</div><div>I started to try.</div><div>I took deep breaths and spoke my mind.</div><div>Something underneath started to flow.</div><div>The emotions. The feelings.</div><div><br /></div><div>I am in love. I was in love.</div><div>But I am sorry that I did not see it clearly and stop it from the very beginning.</div><div>I begged for forgiveness and I thanked for everything.</div><div><br /></div><div>Thank you for having the courage to admit it even if it is very hard.</div><div>Thank you for being there for me even if it is suffering.</div><div>Thank you for being able to catch me when I fell apart.</div><div><br /></div><div>Thank you for everything.</div><div>Everything that you feel and be honest with it.</div><div>Now, I am able to see it clearly.</div><div>Now, I am able to bid it farewell.</div><div>Now, I am able to give it lots of wishes for happiness.</div><div><br /></div><div>It doesn't matter if it doesn't matter to you.</div><div>As long as I find closure within myself.</div><div>Although it still stings sometimes when I feel it, I am feeling way better than ever.</div><div><br /></div><div>Love can heal.</div><div>Only you can do that.</div><div>I wish you all the best in finding happiness.</div><div>Unexpected encounters that make your heart flutter.</div><div>Sail on! Don't wait around.</div><div><br /></div><div>If we are never going to meet again.</div><div>Loneliness will be long gone even without your accompany.</div><div>Our memories together.</div><div>Very likely will not be forgotten.</div><div>Ever.</div><div>Don't look back and keep chasing.</div><div>Young hearts.</div><div>Of course together with the ability to love again. Even if it rains, always remember, that you will have your umbrella with you, as long as you hold on tight.</div><div><br /></div><div>Thank you for everything, really.</div><div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div></div>ARELIS NINGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261810719488277199noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1255356835348779218.post-57467746848813141232022-12-13T22:59:00.003+08:002022-12-13T23:00:09.667+08:0020 || What makes a day and ruins a moment<p>To see a friend again after 3 years makes my day.</p><p>To feel that I would make a new friend on the aeroplane (and I did!) makes my day.</p><p>To talk over the phone about work while I was away on vacation ruins the moment.</p><p>To walk 10k plus steps a day and to feel healthier, makes my day.</p><p>To leave the hustle and bustle and enter into a space filled with nature, makes my day.</p><p>Thinking about what to see, what to eat and where to go each day, makes my day.</p><p>To be able to sleep soundly each and every night, even those nights with lots of dreams makes my day.</p><p>To stay away from a toxic relationship (with the job) for one week makes my day.</p><p>To be surrounded by different languages (Japanese most of the time) and polite people every day makes my day.</p><p>To see an old friend and make new friends because wanted to share an Airpods, makes my day.</p><p>Helping cute couples take photos and keep on praising each other makes my day.</p><p>Taking photos with loved ones together at every stop makes my day.</p><p>To discover an interesting shop and found interesting merchandise makes my day.</p><p>To be able to have people to thank and to buy gifts for them makes my day.</p><p>To be able to share pretty scenery with lovely people around makes my day.</p><p>To feel good just because the weather is nice makes my day.</p><p>To be surprised by the museum that I thought I will not be interested in but found to be super fun, in the end, makes my day.</p><p>To be able to walk until the feet are sore and feel good to be healthy makes my day.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgdFnZ5TrHEyQPrGlZIB3vyTfCIFxTGt-5aMA9iV9TmEax1VISRDb_sYBaPQvmJXWjuI9Xw0dUyF-dDb47AGS1DoMleQD5wQJ06ozo3tKvsvWx4DAQu2FNdLaC5-gknNFsBBo7CX15B9VNaN4fbl2kaoYYitszzh4mQiQohOI3cs1qMhK6We9EadSqXaQ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2448" data-original-width="3264" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgdFnZ5TrHEyQPrGlZIB3vyTfCIFxTGt-5aMA9iV9TmEax1VISRDb_sYBaPQvmJXWjuI9Xw0dUyF-dDb47AGS1DoMleQD5wQJ06ozo3tKvsvWx4DAQu2FNdLaC5-gknNFsBBo7CX15B9VNaN4fbl2kaoYYitszzh4mQiQohOI3cs1qMhK6We9EadSqXaQ=w640-h480" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">It still makes my day when I think we have brought the weather there back home these few days.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I miss there, missing the air and the people and those cute greetings everywhere.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I miss feeling healthy again and being able to walk 20k steps per day.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Every day is like an adventure, feeling tired and worried but exciting.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I wanted to see more.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And I wanted to say, Taiwan, I am going to miss you so much.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And I think I still do after many years.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">;)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><p></p>ARELIS NINGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261810719488277199noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1255356835348779218.post-55386425807568604562022-12-13T22:13:00.002+08:002022-12-13T22:13:53.664+08:0019 || Choices for AdultsCrying loudly.<div>This can never be a choice for an adult.</div>ARELIS NINGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261810719488277199noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1255356835348779218.post-34691776338305990552022-10-26T22:21:00.001+08:002022-10-26T22:21:36.804+08:0018 || UnderstandI do not understand.<div>Why work should looks like this.</div><div>I do not understand.</div><div>Why am I feeling like this.</div><div>I do not understand.</div><div>I déteste the feeling of being misunderstood.</div><div><br></div><div>Maybe it is just because I have a strong pride.</div><div>Take down the pride, my dear.</div><div>As it will not help you go any further but just sink you down.</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; 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</div><br></div><div>Waaaaaaaaay down.</div>ARELIS NINGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261810719488277199noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1255356835348779218.post-59748813731936853852022-10-11T09:59:00.001+08:002022-10-13T15:55:25.384+08:0017 || 工作亲爱的,你要永远记得,你有工作可做便有薪水可领。<div>你一点也不委屈。</div><div>你付出的时间和承受的压力,皆有薪水可领。</div><div>你一点也不委屈。</div><div>也因你有薪水可领,却无奈地身体健康暂时负荷不了你需要的精力。但是薪水用来给医药费却绰绰有余。</div><div>你一点也不委屈。</div><div><br></div><div>见医生的时候,对于自己脱口而出的要健康还是要钱的时候,我不禁莞尔。</div><div><br></div><div>那样的我,还剩下,多少时间呢?</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div><br></div>ARELIS NINGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261810719488277199noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1255356835348779218.post-42830015340543358632022-09-19T23:12:00.003+08:002022-09-19T23:12:37.985+08:0016 || Aoteora.<p> I never thought that I had the courage.<br />When the sent button was clicked, I felt relieved.</p><p>Kia ora, Aoteora.<br />I never imagine myself saying that.</p><p>This is an adventure.<br />This is life.<br />This is the feeling good about being alive.</p><p>I thought I picked up, what I wanted in my life.<br />I found it and I lost it.<br />Day by day, this feeling becomes stronger.<br />I felt that I had a grip on it then it slips away.<br />Isn't this what I always wanted?<br />I always question.<br />I try to ask and ask and hopefully one day.</p><p>I found the way.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5vzJU2l7dkcOQWzAH5sv8AspILeO18v6iX3jUw-s330y3jEL-vjO_uLqH2q9tkQKTUtvEBv6sK3WY2pm0c9vSSYART8MJScyuvWcCz_6M6U61ZaxHeqZnM7a3mHAlIFA13zchiYwIU0OMe8aaCsZFoiP9m-BdK0LDN3eHAT_YzjXSSwQ7YmVjH_gbvA/s4000/IMG20200718103137.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3000" data-original-width="4000" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5vzJU2l7dkcOQWzAH5sv8AspILeO18v6iX3jUw-s330y3jEL-vjO_uLqH2q9tkQKTUtvEBv6sK3WY2pm0c9vSSYART8MJScyuvWcCz_6M6U61ZaxHeqZnM7a3mHAlIFA13zchiYwIU0OMe8aaCsZFoiP9m-BdK0LDN3eHAT_YzjXSSwQ7YmVjH_gbvA/s320/IMG20200718103137.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>The green pastures way.</p><p><br /><br /></p>ARELIS NINGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261810719488277199noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1255356835348779218.post-65886531824655184622022-08-14T22:51:00.001+08:002022-08-14T22:51:00.879+08:0015 || When it rains at nightI miss you.<div>Maybe because is raining too, that night.</div><div>Maybe it is because of I really miss your cuddles, that we are having lesser recently.</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div><br></div><div>I do not know why but I did, having these feelings of having and losing at the same time.</div><div><br></div><div>Maybe...that's love?</div>ARELIS NINGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261810719488277199noreply@blogger.com0