5 || Moving

I moved.

From a suburb to a busy city.

Very busy.

I often got lost, felt lost, always lost.

No matter I am busy or I am idle.

Too many people, too many things, all happened at the same time.

Something happened to an old acquaintance of mine recently, it is annoying, I have to put it out so I can get some good sleep tonight.

I don't want to and I won't, I wont be stepping into their lives to congratulate them or anything else.

This is just because I knew, I knew each of us have our own path to go, and not meant to be crossing each other again.

I have to and I promised to cross this acquaintance, out of my life.

To you out there, I am not sure if what I am feeling is right and I know it is none of my business (I should really only bother my own things but other people's stuffs always came across my mind, I guess I'll take a lifetime to find out why), I really really hope that you are happy with her.

And to you, for we have never cross paths too deeply, I somehow felt like we are quite similar, drawn to his vibes when we met him. I sincerely hope that you are happy with him.

With this, I put my blessings down. I will stop checking out their lives, I'll stop paying single teeny seconds on them. I will stop.

Thank you, for the lessons you once brought to me in my life.

For this life, I hope that we never ever meet again.

Let us cross path in our next or any of the coming lifetime, if we still have something that is required to be sorted out.

With this, at here, I chose to let go.

Thank you and good bye, the melody that used to strum all my heart strings once, strongly.

You do really have a good good voice.

But for now, good bye.

:D

4 || A New Beginning

I cried a lot.
I cried like a baby.
I cried like a child.
I cannot stop, just cannot stop crying.

But I do not have Blawn anymore.
I do not have a chilly closed space anymore.

I missed those days with that space just for me.

And I thanked God that I spent so much time in it.
That I truly appreciate every single second of it.

It was a feeling of emptiness.

Like something was taken away from me.

It was a feeling of loneliness.

Like solidarity is joining me in the room for the scariness of life.

It was a feeling of missing.

I used to have his arms as a pillow whenever I woke up at midnight.

It feels magical.

It feels like I have finally found a happy reason for me to stay in the job that I do not like.

It feels like I am fueled up to go the extra miles for him, for us and for our future.

Though I don't know how far the optimism drives me.

But I tell myself, I will be there.

I will be there.

I will be, there one day.

I will.

Anyways, I have once fought through those days, didn't I?
:)

3 || A Loyal Warrior

I saw you.
Your hair got longer, your skin tanner.
I saw you afar.
Moving around, actively, like a summer breeze.

It feels bizarre to look at you like that.
I mean, from afar.
It feels like I did that before.
Watching you, playing basketball, under the sunset.
When I was once a student, standing outside the fence.
Watching you play beautifully.

I know why we never talked ever since.
I know I should keep my feelings, my questions, and my answers to myself.
Within myself.
Forever.

I know that you are not the one.
I clearly know that you will never be the one.
But still, I wonder.
What if we met that day at the lift lobby?
What if we met that day at platform 34?
What if we met that day when I was crying badly in my car, ten steps away from your place?
What if you came out to greet me that morning instead of staying in your cosy blanket?

Maybe, just maybe.
Maybe we will not contact again.
Maybe I can accept and get through this more easily.
Maybe I don't have to be here, talking to myself and helping myself out of it.

Someday in some time
A destined time
Future, not so far away
Feels like we will meet again
Somewhere on this earth, like
Melbourne?
Egypt?
Lebanon?
Least likely,
Singapore.
Loyal warrior who was once mine, thank you for everything
I think I will let time tell what is coming up next for us
Keep out of reach, for now.
Especially that feeling, that once was my
Umbrella of getting drunk.

Some day in the far future, I will forget.
I will forget about us.
I will forget what I thought we once shared.
I will forget what I remembered that we have been through.
Thank you, thank you and bless you.

Now all I have to do is forget about you.
But I want to give you all my blessings.
I wish that the next she you saved, you hugged and you kissed,
It would always be the same her, who loves you a lot, with all her heart.
You seriously deserved it, and I really meant it.

Like all the beautiful stars you have seen before, and all the Milky Way you captured.
She will stay there, be there, forever by your side.

2 || Twas once a princess

I was once a princess.
I belong to this land.
I am young.
I am free.
I am young and wild and free.

That day was my birthday.
I was in my favourite red gown.
Freestyle red curly hair.
I got my first horse as a birthday present.
I do not have to learn how to ride a horse.
It feels like it is in my bones.
I bowed to the chestnut horse and he bowed back.

We rode, ran and had fun.
Freely, on the grass.

I was a princess.
A princess belongs to this piece of Celtic land.

A place that I accidentally visited on Australia Day in 2025.
The 26 January that I can never forget.
Just because it feels like home.

1 || Hello 2025

It seems like a magical moment.
Time stopped.

I made a wish when I ate 2 small green grapes in my hand.
Love and peace.
Love and peace for everything.

This whole idea has been going on and on in my mind.
Why do human wants to make another human's life harder?

There's a reason for the world, you and I.

Hello new chapter <3