I found that I have lost the feeling and ability of gratitude these days.
Those empty spaces on my KPI form waited to be filled in, 8 hours per day.
When will I spend less time working on things that I will not be careless and errorless about?
When will I let myself go from an old turmoil that keeps me away from happiness?
When?
I used to have a pair of eyes that could see the beauty of life, the beauty of this world and gratitude.
All in front of my eyes.
I thought I was going to talk to 30 today, instead, I have a sudden urge to look for my laptop and decided to put down my thoughts here, after resisting sleepiness with endless yawns.
Is it too exposed? Nope, nobody will still be reading blogs now, maybe Blogger will stop operating one day, just like Skype.
I am safe. I am safe. I am safe.
I am safe with me, I am safe with myself.
Time is interesting; we spend all of it just to get to know ourselves and the reason for the world, you and I.
I am spending all of my life (at least up until now) to get to know myself.
I am sure I understand myself quite a lot.
Through those days, I interacted with other people.
And only to change some of those, while I still keep those painful memories with me.
I only learn when it hurts deeply.
But bear in mind, it was always these kinds of feelings that pushed me way forward than where I was.
Learn to accept it and to take it in as one of the lesson on the script you accepted before you were born.
Learn to understand and practice that words are sharper than swords, please speak with full intention,
Do I miss travel? Guess those lovely people (and still lovely even in my memories) make me think about them and the places a lot.
So, the answer is yes and no.
I missed rest, a real slow down pace.
And to be able to see gratitude again.
And then when the snowballs I made don't turn into snowflakes in the middle of me throwing them out, and to leave a stain on the tree bark, that's when my eyes will meet gratitude again.
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