5 || Moving

I moved.

From a suburb to a busy city.

Very busy.

I often got lost, felt lost, always lost.

No matter I am busy or I am idle.

Too many people, too many things, all happened at the same time.

Something happened to an old acquaintance of mine recently, it is annoying, I have to put it out so I can get some good sleep tonight.

I don't want to and I won't, I wont be stepping into their lives to congratulate them or anything else.

This is just because I knew, I knew each of us have our own path to go, and not meant to be crossing each other again.

I have to and I promised to cross this acquaintance, out of my life.

To you out there, I am not sure if what I am feeling is right and I know it is none of my business (I should really only bother my own things but other people's stuffs always came across my mind, I guess I'll take a lifetime to find out why), I really really hope that you are happy with her.

And to you, for we have never cross paths too deeply, I somehow felt like we are quite similar, drawn to his vibes when we met him. I sincerely hope that you are happy with him.

With this, I put my blessings down. I will stop checking out their lives, I'll stop paying single teeny seconds on them. I will stop.

Thank you, for the lessons you once brought to me in my life.

For this life, I hope that we never ever meet again.

Let us cross path in our next or any of the coming lifetime, if we still have something that is required to be sorted out.

With this, at here, I chose to let go.

Thank you and good bye, the melody that used to strum all my heart strings once, strongly.

You do really have a good good voice.

But for now, good bye.

:D

4 || A New Beginning

I cried a lot.
I cried like a baby.
I cried like a child.
I cannot stop, just cannot stop crying.

But I do not have Blawn anymore.
I do not have a chilly closed space anymore.

I missed those days with that space just for me.

And I thanked God that I spent so much time in it.
That I truly appreciate every single second of it.

It was a feeling of emptiness.

Like something was taken away from me.

It was a feeling of loneliness.

Like solidarity is joining me in the room for the scariness of life.

It was a feeling of missing.

I used to have his arms as a pillow whenever I woke up at midnight.

It feels magical.

It feels like I have finally found a happy reason for me to stay in the job that I do not like.

It feels like I am fueled up to go the extra miles for him, for us and for our future.

Though I don't know how far the optimism drives me.

But I tell myself, I will be there.

I will be there.

I will be, there one day.

I will.

Anyways, I have once fought through those days, didn't I?
:)