12 || High School

Maybe I cried too hard last night.

I was given a glimpse of the future of what I wanted to be.

To have freedom.
To be able to take care of myself.
To go anywhere I wanted to go.
To love and to be loved.
To open my heart.
To be courageous and think a bit lesser when I want to do something.

I used to be so.
But I do not want to be reckless.
Slowly, I felt like I could not unravel comfortably in front of anybody.
I am not the little girl anymore.
I have to wear my big girl pants to own up my everything,
to not act recklessly.

I slept so well.
So well until I woke up with the sound of water droplets.
They are dripping from my mattress cover into a red pail.
But I am sleeping in my bed comfortably and dry.

I walked on a street.
It was very happening like those days during B.C..
I chattered happily with my friend over the phone.
We have not met for a very long time.
And we about to meet, very soon when the sun is just about to go down.

Another call with a close friend.
We are happily talking about last night.
Where we were drunk but we have forgotten.
I got a bottle of water poured over my pants.
She got Man Yih singing aloud in her neighbourhood.
I guess we had a very, very fun night.

It was a very very very nice and cozy dream.
It keeps me warm in my fuzzy blanket.
On a Saturday morning.
And I am so ready for the day to start.
Bonjour!