4 || Happiness

Having a lot of things on my mind.

I found that I have lost the feeling and ability of gratitude these days.

Those empty spaces on my KPI form waited to be filled in, 8 hours per day.

When will I spend less time working on things that I will not be careless and errorless about?

When will I let myself go from an old turmoil that keeps me away from happiness?

When?

I used to have a pair of eyes that could see the beauty of life, the beauty of this world and gratitude.

All in front of my eyes.

I thought I was going to talk to 30 today, instead, I have a sudden urge to look for my laptop and decided to put down my thoughts here, after resisting sleepiness with endless yawns.

Is it too exposed? Nope, nobody will still be reading blogs now, maybe Blogger will stop operating one day, just like Skype.

I am safe. I am safe. I am safe.

I am safe with me, I am safe with myself.

Time is interesting; we spend all of it just to get to know ourselves and the reason for the world, you and I.

I am spending all of my life (at least up until now) to get to know myself.

I am sure I understand myself quite a lot.

Through those days, I interacted with other people.

And only to change some of those, while I still keep those painful memories with me.

I only learn when it hurts deeply.

But bear in mind, it was always these kinds of feelings that pushed me way forward than where I was.

Learn to accept it and to take it in as one of the lesson on the script you accepted before you were born.

Learn to understand and practice that words are sharper than swords, please speak with full intention,

Do I miss travel? Guess those lovely people (and still lovely even in my memories) make me think about them and the places a lot.

So, the answer is yes and no.

I missed rest, a real slow down pace.

And to be able to see gratitude again.

And then when the snowballs I made don't turn into snowflakes in the middle of me throwing them out, and to leave a stain on the tree bark, that's when my eyes will meet gratitude again.

3 || Still in Chang'an

 DAY THREE

Xiao Ge purposely brought me here for this photo cuz Yong Ning Men is the most completed gate!
Hope to take a closer look next time!

After brekkie in the hotel, today's agenda was an all-time favourite: city walk!!
And it is finally the time to get some souvenirs for the colleagues and the friends :)
Xiao Ge bought a fridge magnet for me, it comes with the drink :3

Warm milk tea + snowy days + Xiao Ge's company and stories = the best!
I ended up going crazy with Vendetta of An after I came home hahahaha
Still missin Chang'an in my bones :')

A lot of snow ahhhhhhh :3

Favourite since last time visited Xi'an: Jing Gao is a musttttttttt
Dripped the syrup over my Qi Zai hat and Meng Meng sao zi's down jacket
but Xiao Ge is more nervous that the hat is dirty lolol 
Sorry Xiao Ge, I don't usually bring tissue with me >.<

Visited the only mosque without an onion roof and crescent moon, I must go inside and take a look!
The entrance fee was RMB 15.

Not even a Malaysian who grew up in Malaysia can tell this is a mosque, can you???

A mosque!! *still feel amazed*

After a lot of shopping and seeing almost the same kind of stalls, we are headed to lunch!
(While enjoying the snow on our way there) *still amazed till now*

A great lunch begins with a table full of delicious food! :D

Xiao Ge's dad (uncle)'s favourite!

Me: Xiao Ge, don't order too much, later cannot finish.
Xiao Ge: Not much, not much, just wanna let you try a bit of each.
Result: A table full of fooooooood :D

But okay, anyways, we need a lot of carbs today cuz today is a heavy makeup day!!

Thank you Xiao Ge for making this happen!! Q.Q

Thanks to Meng Meng sao zi for picking my clothes for me before getting hers >.<

Everybody said this doesn't look like me, but I like it cuz this means I can become someone else to some extent hehehe *weird preference*

After editing

Before editing hahahahahaha but I still like it tho :P

When I was told I really look like Huang Sheng Yi - dunno how many people they told the same lol
Hence I deserve a close-up with...rolling eyes? :D

A white jacket is nice too! cuz the background is red :3

Theme: If I wear braces since secondary school :D

Theme: Never wore any braces but still survived :D

FAVOURITE COMING UP :D

But actually, my few favourites were those taken by Da Ge and Xiao Ge :)

This seems to be Da Ge's fav :3
cuz he still sent this photo to me many days after I was back to reality xD

My fav by Da Ge xD

I like this one too!

Don't waste the light of "lighting furniture city" that runs all night, all year :P

Love the reflection on the floor <3
and snowwwwwwwwwwwww <3

Don't you think that Fa Men Si feels more zen in the snow? :3

Dinner is on Da Ge and lots of delicious dishes!! <3

Thanks Da Ge for making it to the dinner no matter what!
Featuring tired Xiao Ge, who always said that he is not tired xD

Speciality dessert Da Ge ordered for little girls (Tao Zi and me) :3

Bidded farewell to Da Ge, Tao Zi and Meng Meng Sao Zi T^T
And then a short stroll to Wen Chang Men to buy red packets :)

DAY FOUR

Morning starts with a goodbye stroll from Wen Chang Men to He Ping Men :')

It was a windy day without snow >.<

I was on my way to become a popsicle and decided to sell my Kathmandu down jacket, knowing that there is no use for that in the northern part of China :')

Lunch time! :D

I can seriously finish this whole dish if I were given 2 hours and a good movie :3
Saliva dripping in front of the screen <3

The favourite restaurants of all Indonesians in GuiLin - Green Tea 

(Not scolding people that kind)

The food was nice and finally Xiao Ge ordered just enough food so we didn't waste any :D

Don't you think that the name of the drink itself is a great Mandarin oral test?
(try to say it out loud in 5 seconds :3)
Heytea on Xiao Ge's treat! Thanks Xiao Ge :D
(cuz Green Tea only have cold drinks >.<)

Another kind of city walk day but this is definitely a great city for city walk.
We did Popmart hunting here but end up realising it was actually a vending machine *sweat*

Trip ended with a non-snowing day, forgot to pick up luggage from the hotel and return halfway to the airport, Xiao Ge guessed the weight of luggage correctly at 18kg (I'm still surprised), Xiao Ge took care of my power bank without a CCC certification and gave me a good warm hug before we waved goodbye.
Listened to Xiao Ge's life story today whole day was really interesting and enjoyable. :)

Chestnut and tangerine from aunt :') *feelin loved*

Xiao Ge tapau Rou Jia Mo for me and split them in half so I can have my dinner and supper all ready :')

Fly with a full blood moon that night

Bye bye Xi'an!! Till we meet again <3 T^T


To be loved and feel so much loved is some really precious front lobe memories in this place <3
Thanks to everybody who made this trip happen!
<3

2 || Chang'an

It was an unforgettable trip.

Highly likely because of the people there.

The hospitality, the smell of cigarettes, the cold air, the smell of the cold air, the very proper Mandarin speaking, the thick yet very warm long down jacket, the static electricity that goes from my fingertips to my back, the snowy mountain, the snowy day.

Everything told me that I am here, I am there.

I like it there, I really like it there.

It was not like I wanted to stay there for a longer period of time.

Four days were just nice, breathing in the air I once breathed in.

This time around, it feels different.

Last time it smelled like yellow maple leaves, this time it smelled like cigarettes.

Not those smells I knew in my home country, it just smells different.

It was not just a trip; it felt like a dream.

After a week at home, I felt like many of the feelings had left.

But still, a teeny tiny part of me is still with that city, that once felt special to me.

I think it will stay with me - imprinted in my soul for a very, very, very long time.

The first snow in 2026! I did not care whether that was the first hour I met Xiao Ge, but I felt super excited and played a lot in the snow! xD

Ahh snowwwwwwww <3

Woke up late - hence, Liang Pi as brekkie

This served the last but tastes the best! - Rou Jia Mo

Cold days = hot soup, don't you think so? - Wan Zi Tang

Da Ge and Xiao Ge said this is their childhood memories xD - Bing Feng

My main mission for this trip! :)

Had lots of fun experiencing different crafts here!

The top craft I really wanted to experience - Making of scented plate and scented beads <3

All thanks to Meng Meng Sao Zi for this great experience! <3

All these are snacks :') **Just when I started to have gastric T^T**

DAY TWO

It started when Da Ge picked us up and we are on a trip to see a coloured panda!

It was not a short drive, Tao Zi and I just had lots of fun selfies in the back seat :P

The first thing I did was...played with the snow! **love**

QinLingSiBao #1 金丝猴

QinLingSiBao #2 羚牛

QinLingSiBao #3 朱鹮

QinLingSiBao #4 熊猫

They are the cutest, aren't they?

This is the main reason we are here! Hello 七仔! This one and only coloured panda is a star! <3

Of course, we saw some live fighting performance from the bears,
wondering if they should be sleeping right now? Hmm?

Da Ge said this is the original inspiration of the phoenix 

- Although all birds look scary to me, this one has the most colourful and jonetsu feathers :)

After some playing in the snow (Da Ge and Xiao Ge took so many photos for me hahaha)

And lots of playing in the snow....

We bid farewell to the science park and went for lunch! 

*Still didn't notice that I have lost my wedding band*

**sigh**

Me and Tao Zi's fav!

Xiao Ge's fav! *I wish I had a healthy stomach*

We have this in Malaysia too!

Da Ge do not understand why Xiao Ge took this hahaha

I like this :3

Thank you Da Ge for driving and Xiao Ge for accompanying!

We passed by lots of strawberry farms, and then Da Ge got me strawberries!! <3
The chocolate variation - all sweet and fresh **mouth watering while seeing this**
I wanted to bring some of them home, but Xiao Ge said better don't T~T

I played with Tao Zi and kept her masterpiece in my album :)
We both slept and got stiff necks right after >.<

Me and Yong Ning Men :)

Da Ge, Xiao Ge and me with Qi Zai hat :3
Da Ge really spoiled me like a child hahahaha
He bought me that hat, got me snacks and drinks, drove and walked with me...
Surprisingly, he is also 0419!!
Xiao Ge did a lot too! I cried when we bid farewell at the airport T^T

This place is a beaut when lights on :)

马上封侯 xD
Everybody said that I am lucky cuz this events usually happen before CNY.
This year, they held it earlier and it starts on 1 Jan!!

Da Ge is a pro! xD

The night then ended with dinner with Da Ge, Xiao Ge, Xiao Ge's parents (my aunt and uncle). 

Meng Meng Sao Zi and Tao Zi came to join later!

*nights :)*

What a pretty city of stars ****** don't you agree?

Fav of the day :)

Me and my fav gate <3

Looking at the dizzy horse xDD

Happy Year of the Horse!
Thanks to my brothers for making this trip superrrrr memorable :3

Really thankful for meeting you guys as family :)