13 || You are heading south

You are heading south.

At the end of July.

By the beginning of August.

You are heading south.

We had only have lunch together twice.

And I think that you dislike me.

You are heading south.

You are surprised that all of us know about this.

It is like you would like to leave in a silence and would like to stay mysterious until the end.

You are heading south.

You make me realise that not all and everything can be solved with a friendly smile.

Things might go the other way round if I do so, to flash a friendly smile to anyone I met.

You are heading south.

I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.

And I smiled, when I choose to forget how you make me feel.

Thank you, for everything that you have taught me, directly or indirectly.

12 || High School

Maybe I cried too hard last night.

I was given a glimpse of the future of what I wanted to be.

To have freedom.
To be able to take care of myself.
To go anywhere I wanted to go.
To love and to be loved.
To open my heart.
To be courageous and think a bit lesser when I want to do something.

I used to be so.
But I do not want to be reckless.
Slowly, I felt like I could not unravel comfortably in front of anybody.
I am not the little girl anymore.
I have to wear my big girl pants to own up my everything,
to not act recklessly.

I slept so well.
So well until I woke up with the sound of water droplets.
They are dripping from my mattress cover into a red pail.
But I am sleeping in my bed comfortably and dry.

I walked on a street.
It was very happening like those days during B.C..
I chattered happily with my friend over the phone.
We have not met for a very long time.
And we about to meet, very soon when the sun is just about to go down.

Another call with a close friend.
We are happily talking about last night.
Where we were drunk but we have forgotten.
I got a bottle of water poured over my pants.
She got Man Yih singing aloud in her neighbourhood.
I guess we had a very, very fun night.

It was a very very very nice and cozy dream.
It keeps me warm in my fuzzy blanket.
On a Saturday morning.
And I am so ready for the day to start.
Bonjour!